Overcoming Performance

When I think of the word performance, my mind goes immediately to show business or some sort of stage production. It has the implication of acting out a role or script that was designed and written by someone other than the actor. It has to do with taking on a different identity or becoming someone else in order to fulfill the part in the script. It also implies that the actor is performing for the benefit or pleasure of others and not necessarily for himself.

Life, in general, can be like a big stage performance. We can get caught up in it and find our lives being directed by the latest trends and fashions. We want to be accepted and liked by others, so we allow the world to form and shape us into its mold. As Christians we are not to be conformed to the world, or to respond to its director, but we should be listening to the direction of the Holy Spirit.

It boils down to an identity issue. I think a lack of knowing who we are and what our purpose in life is lends to the ability of the world to direct the desires and passions of God’s people. The world’s definition of success can so affect us and cause to spend much of our lives trying to become someone we were never designed by God to be. I have a personal story that can help, to a degree, explain what I mean.

In 1971, I started my own contracting business as a plumber. I worked for several small home builders installing the plumbing in the homes they built. I had two or three friends who also began businesses around that time. Over a period of years, I would occasionally run across these friends and we would sort of talk shop and compare notes on the various pitfalls and rewards of being in business. One friend, in particular, had a fast growing business and became well known, with a good reputation. Every time I would hear his success stories, I would compare my own situation to his and wonder why I was coming up so far short of what he was able to do.

In the 1980’s there were a few Christian books written on the subject of success, which I read. I came away with even deeper feelings of defeat because I could not measure up to what others were defining as success. Comparing a business to a tree was one application to define success. A tree began as a sprout, and then a twig then soon begins to branch out with many limbs putting down deep roots. A tree is determined to be healthy if it continues to grow larger and cover more area. This type of analogy was used to define what a successful church, or a business, would look like. Basically, if it was not growing then it was dying out or, in other words, unsuccessful.

I determined by that definition that I was unsuccessful in business. At one point I tried growing the business but it became unmanageable for me. Through all these toils and snares, I one day realized I had bought into and was following the script of the world’s director. I was trying to fit a mold I was not destined for. I am not suggesting that my friend with the large, successful business was out of line, but I just realized that not everyone is equipped with the skills and talents to run a large business. I wanted to be considered successful but, by the world’s standard, I was not. I even bought into the idea that God saw me as unsuccessful.

It was not until about twenty five years later, when I felt directed by the Lord to close down my business to become available full time for His business, that I got the true picture. I had to notify the builders that I had worked for, some for nearly the whole twenty five years, that I was getting out of the business. In all the years I no idea what a success I had been. One after another they began to express their appreciation for the work I had done, saying that I was the most faithful subcontractor they had. I always did what I promised to do and when they needed it. They expressed their concern about finding someone as reliable to replace me.

It was also at that time when I sensed the Lord commending me. It was as if my good record and reputation was taken into consideration in His decision to call me into His service full time. He let me know that, in His eyes, I was very successful. The Lord does not measure success in the same way that man does. Size and the amount of territory one covers is quantity, but He measures by quality and integrity. We are only responsible to the degree we are gifted. Just as in the parable of the talents, the only one who was not rewarded was the servant who did nothing at all with the talent he was given. The other two servants were given talents in varying degrees and were both faithful with what they were trusted with. It was not the size of their accomplishments that earned reward; it was their faithfulness to use what they were given.

I had struggled for years to fit into a mold designed by the world. I was caught up in performance, trying to act a part that was not designed for me. I even strived to be pleasing to God because I allowed the world to define success. I tried to put on the identity of a successful business man, but it was not made for me. I realized later that all I needed was to be identified as a child of God. I was in performance mode, acting out the scenes designed by this world, but when I got on the right page with God, I realized my life was for an audience of One.

Ultimately God has written the script for each one of us. We must take off the identity of this world and put on our new identity in His Kingdom. This is accomplished without striving: it only requires surrender to His purpose and plan for our lives. We can only play the part He has designed us for; any other will leave us frustrated.

Knowing the truth sets us free. I was a slave to performance until I understood how God viewed my life. He saw me as a success based on my surrender to Him, not by how much I could do for Him.