Eph 5:22-33
Marriage — Christ and the Church
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
NKJV
Wives willingly submit and yield to your husband just as you would to the Lord, knowing that God has given him the lead position. Christian marriage is to be a mirror image of Christ as the head of the church, His bride. The church is now His body and is one with Him; likewise, the Lord sets the husband as head, or leader, in the marriage union. He ought to love his wife even as his own body. Husbands demonstrate their God given leadership skills best by loving their wives in the same way that Christ loves His church. Christ went directly to the front lines to take on sin and to destroy every enemy that would cause separation and alienation in relationships. He poured out the life blood of His own flesh that He might purchase for Himself a bride that would become His body, made up of many members. He sought her out and has washed and cleansed her, by the water of the word, that she might be a glorious and holy bride, without one wrinkle or blemish.
John 15:3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. NKJV
When a man leaves his parents’ home, and is joined to his wife, the two become one flesh and the husband is established as head. Their covenant union is recognized by God and a new authority structure is put in place. Though children ought always respect and honor their parents, once married, they are no longer under the authority of their parents’ house. When we as believers abandon self rule and submit to the leadership of Christ, as His bride, we are brought into a new authority structure. Our union with Him allows us to be partakers of His authority and to come under the covering of God’s household. Though this is a great mystery, and easily overlooked, a husband’s sacrificial love for his wife, as for himself, positions him for power and authority with God. Wives that understand this truth will have a greater respect for their husbands.
A believing wife whose husband does not obey the word has a unique situation. Though her husband has not submitted to the authority of God, she is directed to submit to his leadership in faith. In doing so, she trusts God to work in and through her husband to bring about the will of God.
1 Peter 3:1-4
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward — arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel — 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
NKJV
Wives should not focus on winning their husbands through what appeals to their natural senses alone, but allow the beauty of Christ to shine from the inside, through a gentle and quiet spirit: a beauty that increases and doesn’t fade away with time. The respectful conduct of believing wives, living the word before their husbands, will be more effective in winning them to the Lord than preaching or quoting scriptures to them.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
NKJV
A wife’s submission to her husband should always be kept in the context of submitting as unto the Lord. God would never expect anyone to submit to activity that is condemned in scripture. A husband that truly loves his wife would never use manipulation, or demand obedience; loving submission is always voluntary. Because many of us have been under abusive authority, and do not understand loving submission, we can naturally be suspicious of anyone who exercises authority. But, we must learn to discern what is of God and yield, as unto the Lord. Husbands must be patient and not become bitter against their wives, but allow time for them to trust their godly leadership.
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